Heh.

So I am using this new thing, cause I have nothing better to do. I should write a long entry cause there's nothing better to do and procrastination is fun.

Lately, as in the past hour or so, I've been looking back at some things and I've realized how much I've actually changed since 6th grade or even from middle school. Everything is so much different. People whom I used to be really close friends with, I rarely talk to now. It sucks sometimes to know that I lost someone who used to be so close, but it's life. And I'm glad I listened and chose this path, because it helped me open myself up more. I feel like such a different person from who I used to be and I sort of like it. I like growing up and all that stuff, but I feel as if it's going by too fast now. Junior Year sucks and its almost over and high school is over in almost a year, but I sort of don't want to leave high school quite yet. The college process is daunting me. I can't narrow my list sufficiently enough and I'm worried I won't get into some of the schools I would like. I still can't help but look back at my entire life and how much I've changed in a measly three years of high school. I've felt like I matured so much more and I don't know how to explain it, but ya. I'm glad for all that I've done and I really don't want to grow up so fast. But it's inevitable and it will happen so might as well embrace it. This entry is a bunch of random stuff. I really need to jump on some opportunities instead of just letting them slip away. I guess I need a little more confidence in my self and maybe a little more self-esteem. Why can't I do this? What is it about this person that keeps me so attached. What am I to do? There are way too many questions. Why are you so secluded? Do you know already? What do you think? Why can't I just say it? ugh. I should use this to type professionally in.